Abram and sarai relationship counseling

The Danger of Lies in Marriage and Relationships - FaithGateway

(The less my relationship with a person, the less I care what they think In this situation, Sarai charged Abram for being at fault (); he. In Genesis , Abraham describes for King Abimelech his relationship with his wife: Job and his friends (lousy counselors though they were) had a thorough Scripture tells us, “Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother's son, and all. I can only imagine what happened in Abram's relationship with Sarai after this, and that would certainly be a natural consequence to his lie, but.

Her faith, at times, grew weak. Her own heart sometimes led her astray. Those shortcomings were conspicuous and undeniable. If those things were all we knew about Sarah, we might be tempted to picture her as something of a battle-ax—a harsh, severe woman, relentlessly self-centered and temperamental.

Fortunately, there was much more to Sarah than that. She had important strengths as well as glaring weaknesses.

Scripture actually commends her for her faith and steadfastness. A study in contrasts and contradictions, Sarah was indeed one extraordinary woman. Although her enduring faithfulness to her husband was one of the most exemplary aspects of her character, the most notorious blunder of her life involved an act of gross unfaithfulness.

She sometimes vacillated, but she ultimately persevered against unbelievable obstacles, and the steadfastness of her faith became the central feature of her legacy. In fact, the New Testament enshrines her in the Hall of Faith: Terah was father to both of them, Sarah being ten years younger than Abraham Gen.

Such marriages to close relatives were not the least bit unusual or scandalous in the patriarchal era—nor in previous times extending all the way back to creation.

No doubt one of the main reasons the Lord ultimately forbid the practice was because of the accumulation of genetic mutations in the human gene pool. When you begin with two genetically perfect creatures, there is no risk of any hereditary defects.

Only gradually did the dangers associated with inbreeding arise. Therefore, no legal prohibition against incest even existed until the time of Moses.

The Genesis of Marriage - Part 5: Seek and Follow God Together - Simply One

But the patriarchs should not be evaluated by laws that were only handed down many generations later. It was no sin for Abraham to take Sarah as his wife. Scripture says virtually nothing about their early years of marriage. It is no wonder if she occasionally exhibited flashes of frustration and resentment.

All we are told is that he had been born and raised in Sumeria, lower Mesopotamia, near the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. Ur was the heart of a sophisticated pagan culture. Sarah and Abraham would have lived there during the very height of its power and affluence.

The Danger of Lies in Marriage and Relationships

The city government was a superstitious theocracy supposedly under the Babylonian moon god. This was the same culture that built the famous ziggurats, those massive terraced towers upon which pagan temples were set. Abraham, of course, was a worshiper of YHWH. His knowledge of the true God was probably passed down to him by way of his ancestors.

After all, Abraham was only a ninth-generation descendent from Shem, son of Noah. Going back even before the tower of Babel episode, love for the truth had obviously been in sharp decline for many generations. By the time Abraham came on the scene, idolatrous worship thoroughly dominated every world culture. But there was still a scattered remnant of true believers.

Job and his friends lousy counselors though they were had a thorough familiarity with the God of their ancestors.

They lived in the land of Uz. The precise location of Uz is not certain, but it was clearly in the Middle East Jer. So the remnant who still worshiped YHWH were not confined to any single location or limited to any one family.

He represented an order of itinerant priests who knew the one true God and served Him. Abraham met Melchizedek somewhere in the Dead Sea region. Through them, the truth would be kept alive and preserved in perpetuity.

In other words, from the nation that came out of Abraham, prophets would arise. Through them the Scriptures would be given to the world. God would dwell in their midst and set His sanctuary among them.

By their lineage a Deliverer, the Messiah, would arise. And in Him, all the nations of the world would be blessed Gen. Sarah obviously had a key role to play in this plan. Abraham could never become the patriarch of a great nation if she did not first become mother to his offspring. She certainly would have longed to see those promises fulfilled. As long as she remained childless, however, the sense that everything somehow hinged on her must have pressed on her like a great burden on her shoulders.

Abraham obeyed, and Hebrews But the journey was long and slow. Instead, he took his father with him. Abraham may have been somewhat reluctant at first to sever the parental apron strings. Clearly, Terah was still in charge. Scripture portrays him as the leader of the journey, with Abraham, Sarah, and Lot in tow. But the first long leg of the journey stalled at Haran, about miles northwest, roughly following the course of the Euphrates. Perhaps Terah was too old to travel anymore. But they did not get moving again until Terah died, and that was evidently some time.

Scripture says Terah was more than two hundred years old when he died, and Abraham was seventy-five when he finally left Haran for the promised land.

That means Sarah was now sixty-five, the exact age most people today think is ideal for retirement. Sarah was by no means a young woman, even by the standards of the patriarchal era, when people obviously lived much longer and remained agile, healthy, and vigorous well past their sixties. The life of a nomad would be hard for anyone at sixty-five. And yet there is no sign whatsoever that she was reluctant or unwilling to go with Abraham to a land neither of them had ever seen. In fact, what we know of Sarah suggests that far from complaining, she went eagerly, gladly, and enthusiastically with Abraham.

She was utterly and completely devoted to her husband. Knowing that God wanted to make him the father of a great nation, she earnestly longed to give birth to the child who would set that whole process in motion. Leaving Haran after burying his father, Abraham still had quite a large caravan. That account suggests the final leg of the journey to Canaan was direct and uninterrupted. It was some miles on foot making the total journey from Ur more than a thousand miles.

With a large caravan, moving a reasonable distance of eight to ten miles in a typical day, the trip from Haran to Canaan would have required only about six or seven weeks. Abraham seems not to have stopped until he reached Bethel, a fertile area with abundant springs.

At that time, the Lord also appeared to Abraham. Although Abraham and Sarah remained nomads and vagabonds for the remainder of their days, this place and its altar remained their anchor. But circumstances quickly forced Abraham to keep moving south. It was there, for the first time, that Abraham tried to pass Sarah off as his sister. He did this out of fear that if Pharaoh knew she was his wife, he would kill Abraham in order to have Sarah.

He succumbed to the fear of men.

Abram to Abraham (Genesis 15-21)

Had he simply trusted God, God would have protected Sarah as He did in the end anyway. But Scripture says that before they even entered Egypt, Abraham discussed with Sarah the dangers this place posed for a man with a beautiful wife. Stewards of Pharaoh saw her, pointed her out to Pharaoh, and brought her to his house. Somehow Pharaoh discovered the reason for the plagues, and he confronted Abraham with the deception, expelling the patriarch and his wife from Egypt Gen.

Henceforth, the Lord himself would be their dwelling place. That is as good a summary as any of the earthly life Sarah inherited when she stepped out in faith to follow her husband: They were not, as is commonly supposed, lifetime nomads or Bedouins who simply wandered all their lives because that is all they knew. Bear in mind that they did not start wandering until Abraham was already in his mid-seventies and Sarah was only a decade behind that.

Life on the road was not something Sarah was accustomed to; it was something she had to learn to embrace. Notice the nature of the vast promise God had made to Abraham: That is the first recorded hint of the Abrahamic Covenant, a formal pledge God made to Abraham and to his offspring forever. God would bless Abraham, make him a blessing, and make him a vehicle through which blessing would come to the whole world Gal. The promised blessing even had eternal implications.

In other words, redemption from sin and the means of salvation from divine judgment were part and parcel of the promise Gal. Sarah understood that promise. According to Scripture, she believed it. Just as Christ was the Seed of the woman who overthrows the serpent, He is also the Seed of Abraham by whom all the world will be blessed. This same promise is the central theme that extends all through Scripture, from Genesis 3 to its final fulfillment in the closing chapters of Revelation.

Sarah understood and also embraced it. Sarah must have constantly pondered these things, and as time went by, the weight of her burden only increased.

Yet God kept giving her reasons to hope. It is significant that verse 12 says a deep sleep fell on Abraham; then the Lord single-handedly carried out the covenant ceremony. It made no demands of Abraham or Sarah whatsoever. It was a completely one-sided covenant. If Sarah had simply realized that truth and embraced it, her whole burden would have been instantly lifted.

As a matter of fact, the evil consequences of that one act had unbelievably farreaching implications. Ten more fruitless years passed after Abraham and Sarah arrived in Canaan Gen.

Sarah was now seventy-five years old, postmenopausal, and still childless. It was natural for her to think God was deliberately withholding children from her. As a matter of fact, He was. His plan all along was for Sarah to have her first child in her old age, after every prospect of a natural fulfillment of the prophecy was exhausted and after every earthly reason for hope was completely dead.

But as she considered her circumstances, Sarah concluded that a kind of surrogate parenting was the only possible solution to her predicament. Sarah thus took it upon herself to try to engineer a fulfillment of the divine promise to Abraham. She unwittingly stepped into the role of God.

Sarah had a maidservant, named Hagar, whom she had acquired during their time in Egypt. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her. This was the first recorded case of polygamy in Scripture involving a righteous man. The very first bigamist on biblical record was Lamech Gen. He was an evil descendant of Cain. He is not to be confused with another Lamech, described in Genesis 5: This was a sorry precedent for the patriarch of the nation to set.

In generations to come, Jacob would be duped by his uncle into marrying both Leah and Rachel Disobedience to that standard has always resulted in evil consequences. As soon as Hagar conceived, Sarah knew it was a grave mistake. Hagar suddenly became haughty and contentious toward Sarah: Here, then, is the first outburst of temper we see from Sarah: I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes.

It is true that Sarah was being unreasonable. This whole sordid plan was, after all, her big idea. Her insolent treatment of Sarah was utterly indefensible. Since Hagar was the servant and Sarah the one in charge, this was the most brazen kind of deliberate impudence.

A section of the book of Proverbs deals with precisely this situation: Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: Under a slave when he becomes king, And a fool when he is satisfied with food, Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress The truth, however, is that every party in this whole affair was guilty, and all of them ended up reaping bitter fruit from what they had sown.

He might have been wise to step in as an arbitrator and seek a solution that would have been fair to both women. Then resolve not to repeat the offense.

Questions for Discussion 1. Did Abram actually lie about his relationship with Sarai? Do we tell half-truths today?

Sarah In The Bible – Character Profile And Life Story

Think about this scenario: Someone you know calls and your spouse answers the phone. What do you ask them to say? Has our culture downplayed the telling of half-truths? What do we call them today? Can we apply Jesus words to the half-truths we tell on a regular basis? Given the cultural and gender roles of his time, should Abram have apologized to his wife for his treatment of her? What might have happened as a result?

Why do you think Sarai went along with Abrams story? At one point, it looked like she was headed for a seriously compromising situation with the Egyptian leaders. If you were Sarai would you change your story? How have gender roles changed, and would a husband receive the same response from his wife today? Can telling all the truth in a situation also be a form of using each other? How far should we go in telling the truth? Did Jesus always tell the truth? How should a husband love his wife based on this passage?

By telling half-truths and white lies, are we setting our kids up to make the same mistakes? What can happen to a marriage when one partner does not tell the truth? If we have withheld a truth from our spouse, should we always come clean? If a spouse confesses to a half-truth, or an all out lie, how should the spouse respond?

Read 1 Peter 1: