Meet the spartans your mom jokes

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meet the spartans your mom jokes

Read the Meet The Spartans full movie script online. SS is dedicated to The combination to my chastity belt. (excited . Take care of your mother. Stay tough . But, seriously, mention you watch a movie like Meet the Spartans, and 99% in a Yo mama contest, or where the Spartans take a break from fighting by You really think your jokes are going to go over most people's heads?. meet the spartans yo mama joke scene. Kenneth Liss . Well your momma is so nice, she bakes me cookies every sunday before church.

Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton also played by Parkerwho tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly.

Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a " Yo Momma " fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.

Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed.

Kid reviews for Meet the Spartans | Common Sense Media

Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen.

The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen. At the Battle of Thermopylaethe Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboawho kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut.

Kid reviews for Meet the Spartans

Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes. Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto: Managing to find the " Transformer Cube ", Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the " Leave Britney Alone! However, Xerxestron accidentally trips on his extension cord and falls on Leonidas and the surviving Spartans, apparently killing them.

Anyway, I'd rather watch this again than something mean-spirited and pretentious like Juno or most Judd Apatow movies. There were enough fun little scenes that kept me laughing that I kept on watching -- like the scene where the Spartans go up against a bunch of street kids in a Yo mama contest, or where the Spartans take a break from fighting by getting some drinks at a Starbucks type shop in the Pass of Thermopylae.

meet the spartans your mom jokes

Most of the jokes didn't work, of course. There were way too many references and "parodies" that were little more than copying or merely mentioning characters and scenes from popular culture with no real context or point of view other than just repetition. Like the scene where Venom and Sandman fought.

How was that a parody of Spider-Man 3?

meet the spartans your mom jokes

All that happened was Venom and Sandman fought. There was nothing funny about it, although I'm not going to complain about seeing Carmen Electra in a skin-tight Venom suit. Shannon said that Electra looked old and bad, but I told her she was crazy. Then there were dozens upon dozens of characters showing up just to do bad impressions of popular figures, almost all of which were so bad the other characters actually had to say things like, "Shut up, Dane Cook," so you'd know who was being impersonated.

There was one scene where king Xerxes played by that gross fat guy from Borat -- kinda funny brought out a monster to fight the Spartans, and it was actually a guy dressed up like Rocky. They panned the camera down to his trunks, where the name "Rocky" was printed on them in big letters, as though we didn't know that it was supposed to be Rocky. Thanks, guys who made Meet the Spartans.

meet the spartans your mom jokes

You really think your jokes are going to go over most people's heads? And now I'll talk about the cast quickly, who didn't do anything all that spectacular or funny like I said about, Carmen Electra was one of the main starsbut they still managed to walk away from this movie with most of their pride intact.

Yo mama jokes

The star of the film who later starred on that awful Comedy Central show Krod Mandoon, or whatever it was called. See, even I have standards! I don't know his name and I certainly don't think he was a great leading man or notable comic talent, but he made me laugh. Just check out his delivery of this wookie joke and try to tell me you didn't laugh.

And then we had Kevin Sorbo, who is always funny and charming, but I'm mostly mentioning him to say that, at age 52, my boy still looks amazing and has a rockin' body. Don't seek it out, pay money for it, or even sit down to watch it if you have anything the least bit pressing or engaging that you could do instead.