Having An Affair? Advice For The Other Woman | HuffPost
Often depicted as the villain, the other woman is usually looked down or their spouse has some issue that has changed the relationship. Do you want to learn more about a current relationship? Being the other woman doesn't come with attached strings or responsibilities, but isn't an easy task. Have you found yourself in a position where you are the 'other woman' despite your Make sure you have a strategy to enable you to leave the relationship.
I was 28, single and independent and had been in some serious relationships which had shaken me to the core, but this feeling was something quite special.
I never discussed this with him, because there was no point in doing so. But gradually I started noticing changes in him as well. He would say I love you and I would respond just by laughing at it.
I’m Not The Other Woman In His Life — His Wife Is
But back at home, I would keep on thinking if he actually meant it. One day though, he came to me and said that his wife had raped him. I just laughed at it because I knew that he only meant that he had had sex with her.
Even though I knew it was bound to happen some day or the other — she was his wife after all — I was shattered when it happened. He pleaded with me, saying that it was an accident, but I had made up my mind. Finally, he confessed that he loved me and could not let me go.
It was what I had been dying to hear from him for the longest time. In between all this, his wife came to know about us and like any other woman would, she too screamed at me, asking how could I do something like this and how could I ruin her life? Later, he too confessed his love for me in front of her. Despite all this, she is not ready to leave him because they have a kid together. And it makes sense too. But I feel that what she fails to understand is that by forcefully being in a relationship with him, she is not getting the love that a wife deserves from her husband- neither emotionally nor physically.
On the other hand, I know what he wants and have even tried explaining it to her, but of course why would she listen to me?
- Having An Affair? Advice For The Other Woman
She knows that we love each other, she knows that we can not stay apart, but she is not ready to leave him. In fact, now she has started showering him with love, hoping that he would come back to her. We both feel bad for her but there is nothing we can do about it.
The Other Woman
She even gave us the option to live in together but she told us that she would not give him a divorce. There is something not working in the marriage. There is resentment or boredom, or their spouse has some issue that has changed the relationship. Maybe the spouse is sick or is an alcoholic, or is depressed or cheated. Maybe the couple has grown apart-one person is very active and seemingly young and wants to travel, while the other has let him or herself go and is just on a different page.
Maybe the couple never used to argue and now disagree on everything. Maybe there was some tragedy the couple faced and the two people handled it very differently. Maybe there are financial issues. Maybe they parent differently. Or maybe the person having the affair has lost interest or respect for the spouse. Maybe one or both feels unappreciated, unloved, no longer cherished.
For whatever reason, not being happy in a marriage will cause someone to seek love from someone else or multiple people. The person having the affair is unhappy in their own life. He or she might have an addiction or an unresolved issue from the past or from childhood. Maybe the person is unhappy at work or is facing some bad times in another aspect of life—a family member or parent, perhaps.
Maybe the spouse has turned off and is cold and distant and non-communicative.
The Other Woman – P.S. I Love You
Not that that justifies having an affair, but my point is that it could be a reason why it happened. On the other hand, maybe the person having the affair never gave the spouse a chance to help him or her. Maybe that person shut him or her out and chose to cheat instead of lean on the spouse. I mean where can it really go from here? Remember our first kiss?
Remember the first time you cried to me? The relationship is tainted. In fact I can think of a few right now. I want a beautiful beginning with someone I marry. She is most likely unhappy most of the time in the relationship, and it probably feels empty, lonely, frustrating and disappointing.
These are not things that are desirable in a romantic relationship, are they?