Facing the Topic of Holy Relationships by Robert Perry. In this article, Robert calls on us to face just how important the holy relationship is in the Course, and to . 1 The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a practical device, witnessed. “We may come to Holy Relationships in a few different ways and forms. Some begin as dysfunctional special relationships where the transfer.
The glitter of blood shines like rubies, and the tears are faceted like diamonds and gleam in the dim light in which the offering is made. Do not let the frame distract you. This gift is given you for your damnation, and if you take it you will believe that you are damned. You cannot have the frame without the picture. What you value is the frame, for there you see no conflict.
Yet the frame is only the wrapping for the gift of conflict. The frame is not the gift. Be not deceived by the most superficial aspects of this thought system, for these aspects enclose the whole, complete in every aspect. Death lies in this glittering gift.
Chapter FORGIVENESS AND THE HOLY RELATIONSHIP
Let not your gaze dwell on the hypnotic gleaming of the frame. Look at the picture, and realize that death is offered you. The truth itself needs no defense, but you do need defense against your acceptance of the gift of death. When you who are truth accept an idea so dangerous to truth, you threaten truth with destruction.
And your defense must now be undertaken, to keep truth whole. The power of Heaven, the Love of God, the tears of Christ, and the joy of His eternal Spirit are marshalled to defend you from your own attack. It is a picture, too, set in a frame. Yet if you accept this gift you will not see the frame at all, because the gift can only be accepted through your willingness to focus all your attention on the picture.
The holy instant is a miniature of eternity. It is a picture of timelessness, set in a frame of time. If you focus on the picture, you will realize that it was only the frame that made you think it was a picture. Without the frame, the picture is seen as what it represents. For as the whole thought system of the ego lies in its gifts, so the whole of Heaven lies in this instant, borrowed from eternity and set in time for you. Each is complete, and cannot be partially accepted.
Each is a picture of all that you can have, seen very differently. You cannot compare their value by comparing a picture to a frame. It must be the pictures only that you compare, or the comparison is wholly without meaning.
Chapter 17: Forgiveness and the Holy Relationship
Remember that it is the picture that is the gift. And only on this basis are you really free to choose. Look at the pictures. One is a tiny picture, hard to see at all beneath the heavy shadows of its enormous and disproportionate enclosure. The other is lightly framed and hung in light, lovely to look upon for what it is. These pictures are each framed perfectly, for what they represent. One is framed to be out of focus and not seen. As these two contemplate their relationship from the point of view of this new purpose, they are inevitably appalled.
Their perception of the relationship may even become quite disorganized.
And yet, the former organization of their perception no longer serves the purpose they have agreed to meet. You let this goal be set for you. That was an act of faith. Do not abandon faith, now that the rewards of faith are being introduced.
If you believed the Holy Spirit was there to accept the relationship, why would you now not still believe that He is there to purify what He has taken under His guidance?
Have faith in your brother in what but seems to be a trying time. The goal is set.Holy Relationship Video with Marianne Williamson - Part 1 of 4
And your relationship has sanity as its purpose. For now you find yourself in an insane relationship, recognized as such in the light of its goal. You can escape from your distress only by getting rid of your brother. You need not part entirely if you choose not to do so. But you must exclude major areas of fantasy from your brother, to save your sanity. Hear not this now! Have faith in Him Who answered you. Has He not been very explicit in His answer?
You are not now wholly insane. Can you deny that He has given you a most explicit statement? Now He asks for faith a little longer, even in bewilderment. For this will go, and you will see the justification for your faith emerge, to bring you shining conviction.
Abandon Him not now, nor your brother. This relationship has been reborn as holy. You will find many opportunities to blame your brother for the "failure" of your relationship, for it will seem at times to have no purpose. A sense of aimlessness will come to haunt you, and to remind you of all the ways you once sought for satisfaction and thought you found it.
Forget not now the misery you really found, and do not breathe life into your failing ego. For your relationship has not been disrupted. It has been saved. Your way is lost, but think not this is loss. In your newness, remember that you and your brother have started again, together. And take his hand, to walk together along a road far more familiar than you now believe. Is it not certain that you will remember a goal unchanged throughout eternity?
Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to she surface A relationship that is used by the Holy Spirit becomes a place where our blocks to love are not suppressed or denied, but rather brought into our conscious awareness We never get crazy like we do around the people we're really attracted to. Then we can our dysfunctions clearly, and when we're ready ask God to show us another way.
As temples of healing, relationships are like a trip to the divine physician's office. How can a doctor help on unless we show him our wounds? Our fearful places have to be revealed before they can be healed. A Course in Miracles teaches that 'darkness is to be brought to light, and not the other way around. The ego thinks of a perfect relationship as one in which everybody shows a perfect face.
But this is not necessarily so, because a show of strength is not always honest. It is not always s genuine expression of who we are. If I pretend to have it together in some area where I really don't, I am fostering an illusion about myself I would only be doing this out of fear-fear that if you saw the truth about me, I would be rejected. God's idea of a "good relationship" and the ego's idea of one are completely different.
To the ego, a good relationship so one in which another person basically behaves the way we want them to and never presses our buttons, never violates our comfort zones But if a a relationship exists to support our growth, then in many ways it exists to do just those things; force us out of our limited tolerance and inability to love unconditionally.
We're not aligned with the Holy Spirit until people can behave in any way they choose to, and our own inner peace isn't shaken. There have been times in my life where my thought about a relationship was, "This is terrible," but upon further reflection I realized God would probably be saying, "Oh, this is good. A girlfriend once told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. Don't you think that's good" "No,' I said "I think it's childish. I responded, "You're welcome.
Support for the belief guilt is extremely easy to find. But real support is When we help one another see beyond someone's errors, to drop our judgments and see the love that lies beyond. Our neuroses in relationships usually stem from our having an agenda for another person, or for the relationship itself.
It's not our job to try to make a relation- ship into something we think it should be.
If someone doesn't behave like a great romantic partner, then per- haps they're not meant to be that for us. That doesn't make them wrong. Not every relationship is meant to be the ultimate romance: The ego seeks to use a relationship to fill our needs as we define them: We love purely when we release other people to be who they are.
The ego seeks intimacy through control and guilt.