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It has been described as being "an involuntary potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object LO involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings and behaviors from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation".
Characteristics[ edit ] The concept of 'limerence' "provides a particular carving up of the semantic domain of love",  and represents an attempt at a scientific study of the nature of love. Limerence is considered as a cognitive and emotional state of being emotionally attached to or even obsessed with another person, and is typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings—a near-obsessive form of romantic love.
However, in common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolation from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived. Tennov notes how limerence "may dissolve soon after its initiation, as in an early teenage buzz-centered crush",  but she is more concerned with the point when "limerent bonds are characterized by 'entropy' crystallization as described by Stendhal in his treatise On Love, where a new love infatuation perceptually begins to transform According to Tennov, there are at least two types of love: It is this unfulfilled, intense longing for the other person the limerent object which defines limerence, where the individual becomes "more or less obsessed by that person and spends much of their time fantasising about them".
Limerence may only last if conditions for the attraction leave it unfulfilled; therefore, occasional, intermittent reinforcement is required to support the underlying feelings. Hayes notes that "it is the unobtainable nature of the goal which makes the feeling so powerful", and that it is not uncommon for those to remain in a state of limerence over someone unreachable for months and even years.
It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despairdepending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Basically, it is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love ,[ citation needed ] even to the point of addictive -type behavior.
Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone. Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by non-limerents as ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction. While limerence does not require it, those concerns may certainly be incorporated. Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence deeply desires reciprocation, but it remains unaltered whether or not it is returned.
Physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike with one experiencing sexual attraction. Lack of reciprocation may in such instances serve to reinforce lessons learned in earlier, unhealthy bonding experiences, and hence strengthen the limerence. Components[ edit ] Limerence involves intrusive thinking about the limerent object.
In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object. Tennov suggests that feelings of limerence can be intensified through adversity, obstacles, or distance—'Intensification through Adversity'. This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background. In their thoughts, such a person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes. Intrusive thinking and fantasy[ edit ] During the height of limerence, thoughts of the limerent object or person are at once persistent, involuntary and intrusive.
Such 'intrusive thoughts about the LO This may be caused by low serotonin levels in the brain, comparable to those of people with obsessive—compulsive disorder.
If a certain thought has no previous connection with the limerent object, immediately one is made. Limerent fantasy is unsatisfactory unless rooted in reality,  because the fantasizer may want the fantasy to seem realistic and somewhat possible. At their most severe, intrusive limerent thoughts can occupy an individual's waking hours completely, resulting—like severe addiction—in significant or complete disruption of the limerent's normal interests and activities, including work and family.
For serial limerents, this can result in debilitating, lifelong underachievement in school, work, and family life. Fantasies that are concerned with far-fetched ideas are usually dropped by the fantasizer.
It's about accepting that whatever happens is the best for that moment Great minds think differently. Relax and focus on the positive. Life is too short to worry about all the negative. Happiness is all about loving what you have and being grateful for it. Never lose sight of your blessings. Always end the day with a positive thought.
No matter how hard things were, tomorrow is a fresh opportunity to make it better Work your hardest. Don't give up on anything, especially if it's something that makes you happy. Distance yourself from negativity and great things will happen. When things aren't working out as you wish, be patient. Stop trying to move ahead of destiny.
A thousand disappointments in the past cannot equal the power of one positive action right now. Through the good and the bad, remember that you're still breathing.
Be grateful and stay positive. Do all the good you can, to as many people as you can, as often as you can. You'll get through this, stay strong and fill your mind with positive thoughts. Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. Every choice you make has an end result. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
If someone is constantly bringing you down, cut them out of your life. Keep the faith, keep working hard and great things will come. I want to refresh my mind, clear all my problems and just have fun with life. Don't start because it's easy. Start because it's worth trying. Don't stop because it's hard. Stop because you've tried your best. A person who falls and gets back up is much stronger than a person who never fell. If you don't go for what you want, you'll never have it.
Your struggles won't seem as bad if you just stop talking about them all the time. Take a deep breath and focus on whats important. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work. Don't let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.
Chase dreams, not people. Success is based on effort, not luck. Get closer to your dreams and further from your doubts. Live your life and ignore the negativity. Don't let anyone steal your happiness. Be thankful for what you have and work hard for what you don't have. Take small steps every day and you'll eventually get there.
Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else. Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest. If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise. No regrets, just lessons learned. If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success. You are a product of your decisions. I will not be happy until I'm successful When you lose something, don't think of it as a loss; accept it as the gift that gets you on the path you were meant to travel on.
A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it. Your enemies hate it. When I let go of what's not meant to be, I clear a path for good stuff to find me! Your choices decide your fate. Take the time to make the right ones. If yours doesn't, you're not dreaming big enough. When something doesn't go the way you wanted it to, just know that everything happens for a reason, a better reason.
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. The secret to getting ahead is getting started. How are you supposed to know what you can achieve if you QUIT? A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
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Happiness is a choice. Be true to yourself, because there are only a few people that will stay true to you. The best way to be happy is to turn the negatives into positives. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher. Life is already filled with enough people who want to bring you down.
Impossible isn't a fact, it's an opinion. Always do your best to make the right ones, and always do your best to learn from the wrong ones. If you think you can't, you probably won't.
If you're not willing to put in the effort, don't expect anything in return. Give thanks today to those who did you wrong, they unknowingly made you strong. You make your own luck in life Take risks. If you win, you will be happy. If you lose, you will be wiser. Your mistakes should be your motivation, not your excuses. When you believe in yourself, anything is possible.
Every new day is another chance to change your life. Good things come to those who wait, but greater things come to those who act. Don't let the past have any effect on you moving forward with your life. Let go, move on and improve.
It's okay to struggle, but it's never okay to give up on yourself. Set some goals and do something positive with your life. Seeing progress is the best Just pick what makes you happy and you will realize that you have made the best choice.
No better feeling than knowing nobody works harder or does the things you do. Don't rely on just school to educate yourself. You learn far more outside of it! If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
One of the best ways to achieve your goals is to surround yourself with people who have dreams, goals, and ambition. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer grows you. Think highly of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. Stop living for compliments and start living for accomplishment.
The best way to move forward is to let go of the people holding you back. You should always surround yourself with positive, successful people.
You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you. What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds. Don't ever be afraid to show who you really are, because as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else's opinion matters.
Yeah, things in life make it difficult, but at the end of the day you control your own happiness. If you want a better life, don't take the one you have now for granted. Surround yourself with people who bring out the happiness in you. Every struggle you had in your life shaped you into the person you are today.
Be thankful for the hard times they can only make you stronger Don't give up just because of what someone said. Use that as motivation to push harder. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Don't make excuses for why you can't get it done.Very sad story about gf & bf
Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen. The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have. All dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them with a relentless whatever it takes mindset. Sometimes you have to risk it all in order to gain everything you've ever dreamed of. The second you stop thinking about things that bring you down is the second you start living. Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.
Every girl deserves a guy who respects her and every guy deserves a girl who appreciates his efforts. The time will pass anyway. Sometimes you need to be alone, in order to find out who you really are and what you really want.
Believe in yourself, work hard enough, and you can accomplish anything in your life! The search for happiness is the main reason of unhappiness. Accept life the way it is. You'll find happiness in every moment you live. The biggest problem in this world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid people are full of confidence.
To have a successful life, you must have a successful mentality. If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten. Die with memories, not with dreams.
Let them make you. Get rid of all doubts and just go for it. Believe with your eyes, not with your ears. Choose your happiness over everything. Don't give up just because things are hard. Go ahead and doubt me. I promise I'll prove you wrong. So is a lack of self confidence.
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Be around people that build you up. The harder you work, the better the reward. Don't live in the past. Work hard in the present and get ready for your future. Every single day you should wake up and commit yourself to becoming a better person. You can't go around thinking thoughts of mediocrity and expect to excel. The two don't go together. The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. All dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
Good or bad, just smile.
You have a lot to be thankful for. Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching. Tough times are like exercise. You may not like it when you are doing it, but tomorrow you'll be stronger because of it.
Ambition is priceless, it's something that's in your veins. Life is all about choices. The choices you make will continuously define who you are and the future you will have.
Hard work does not guarantee success, but no work guarantees failure. Quit worrying so much. Just focus on the good things in life. Sometimes you face difficulties not because you're doing something wrong, But because you're doing something right.
Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company. Don't wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life. Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things. When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along. No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive. Whose summer didn't go anywhere near planned?
But you must remain strong. You're the happiest when you're living for you If you think you can do something, then you can. If you think you can't do something, then you won't be able to. Everything in life can teach you a lesson, you just have to be willing to learn. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Make the rest of your life the best of your life. Be mindful of your words to others Five simple rules for happiness: Free your heart from hatred 2.
Free your mind from worries 3. Expect less Being a good person does not depend on your religion, status, race, color, political views or culture. It depends on how you treat others. Stay positive when negativity surrounds you. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.
There are going to be lots of hard times in your life, but those hard times only make you stronger in the end. The world is full of nice people; if you can't find one, be one. The way we choose to see the world creates the world we see.
You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. I wanna travel the world, learn about as much as I can, meet as many people as I can, and enjoy the simple pleasures of the world. The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters. If there's one thing I hate in the world, it's lying. Everyone deserves second chances, but not for the same mistake. Trimming the weeds in your life is the best way to plant positivity.
You don't need people who only come around when they need something. What hurts more, the pain of hard work, or the pain of regret?
Music is my meditation Believe you can and you're halfway there. Make today count, You'll never get it back. The only difference between success and failure is the ability to take action.
Live your life as such that the world would be a better place if everyone emulated you. Too many of us are focused on where we're going rather than who we're becoming. There are bad people in this world. Don't be one of them Complaining about your current position in life is worthless.
Do something about it instead! Life is about breaking our personal limits and outgrowing ourselves to live our best lives. Hate in your heart will only damage your soul. Don't expect everything to be perfect all the time. If things always went according to plan, life wouldn't be interesting.
Find whatever makes you happy, and who makes you happy, and then you're set We forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but by recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
To succeed you must learn the real and toughest competition is that voice in your head that wants you to quit. The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
Give up focusing on what's wrong, and start noticing what's right. If you want happiness, go out and get it. Don't wait for someone to give it to you. Happiness will come to you when it comes from you. Success will be yours when you choose to take responsibility for making it so.
Where you invest your time and energy in life, shows what you truly care about. That goes for people, places, things, and conversations. You can suffer the pain of change, or suffer remaining the way you are. The more you love your decisions, the less you will need others to love them. Bad times make the good times better.
You just have to be happy. If you are, everything else will fall into place. Take a look at those around you. If they don't build you up, push you to be better, are those you want at your side when times get tough? Success isn't the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you'll be successful.
Always stay positive and you'll see positive results. When you've hit rock bottom before and survived, there are very few things in life that can scare you. Happiness lies in perspective Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve. Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace. Don't look back when you know you shouldn't. Don't stress over things that don't matter.
Don't worry about things you can't control. Bad times make you appreciate the good times. Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Smoking pot and getting shitty grades isn't cool. Being successful and driving a Ferrari is. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. A lot people don't wanna see you happy cause they're not happy Good things will come to you if you focus on the positives and forget the negatives.
I admire someone who has been through a lot and still keeps their head up. Sometimes it takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.
Patience is not the ability to wait, but how you act while you're waiting. Success does not come easy!! You have to be willing to sacrifice everything But it will pay off. Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.
It's difficult to follow your dream. It's a tragedy not to. Happiness is the highest level of success. You have to reevaluate what you're doing. Let go of any distractions. I don't regret my past; I just regret the time I wasted with the wrong people.
The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become. Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Don't wait for the world to recognize your greatness, live it and let the world catch up to you. Instead of complaining about your circumstances, get busy and create some new ones. The world needs more of you! Running away from your problems is a race you'll never win. The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential are keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Be strong now because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever. Don't waste time on revenge. The people who hurt you will eventually face their own karma. Be happy with who you are, never let someone else make you feel like you're worthless. Nothing is a failure; it's just not supposed to work out that way, because something better is supposed to come along.
Go find your joy. You can never quit. Winners never quit, and quitters never win. What you want won't always come easy, but if you work hard and don't give up you will get there. Failure does not mean that you'll never get what you want, sometimes failure means that you have to fight harder for something better.
Why settle for average when you can be the best. If you believe in yourself, anything is possible. Turn your wounds into wisdom. When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of one good reason to be positive. There's always something to be grateful for. Don't make excuses, make improvements. So many people seem to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but have no clue how to lead their own.
We all want to be extraordinary and we all just want to fit in. Unfortunately, extraordinary people rarely fit in. Always stay positive because people will be attracted to you! If money didn't exist, would you still chase the same dream?