Short changing myself in a relationship

To Change Your Relationships, Be the Change

short changing myself in a relationship

Sometimes changing yourself is good for a relationship—in fact, often it's absolutely necessary. Relationships are based on compromise. Stop Short Changing Yourself and Create a Meaningful Life go on living a life a scarcity with shallow dreams and surface level relationships. If you're not where you want to be in your career--or, for that matter, in your life-- never let yourself believe change is impossible. Don't allow.

Spending time "apart" while constantly chatting and texting with your partner isn't really taking time for yourself. To retain your sense of who you are, you need to set aside time to do your thing -- work, exercise, read, journal, pursue personal projects, whatever -- without checking in with your partner every five minutes.

That movie you've been looking forward to is finally coming out? A friend in another city invited you to visit for a weekend? Have a chance to go skydiving for the first time?

short changing myself in a relationship

It's tempting to invite your partner to come along, but realize that you don't need to experience these things with him or her, especially if it's something you've been wanting to do since long before you met. It's okay to enjoy them by yourself or with friends -- you're not required to share. If your partner doesn't motivate you to be the best version of you, it's worth asking whether this is the right relationship for you. If you're well matched, both of you feel free -- and encouraged -- to reach your full potential.

Part of maintaining your sense of self is knowing you can try something new without sacrificing your core values and tastes.

short changing myself in a relationship

Give your partner's hobbies and interests a shot at least once. If you enjoy them, great. If not, don't do them again, and be confident in that choice.

  • Are you short changing yourself?
  • Are you selling yourself short in dating, relationships and life?r
  • To Change Your Relationships, Be the Change

Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're off the hook when it comes to taking care of yourself and your own feelings. It's easy to look to your partner to shelter you from the world and distract you when everything else makes you want to crawl into a hole, but continue to fight your own battles. It's nice to have someone who wants to comfort you, and it's perfectly all right to let him or her, but make sure you don't need it.

Dating Advice: How Not to Lose Yourself in a Relationship

You do not want to be the person who brings every conversation with friends back to the time your partner said this or did that. Your time with friends is an opportunity to discuss other things.

short changing myself in a relationship

If you're in constant contact with your partner throughout the day, what are you going to talk about when you actually see each other? Leave some topics for when you meet up for dinner or come back home to each other or talk on the phone at night.

Don’t Shortchange Yourself: Don’t Waste Your Time

Also, you can't live your own life if you're always talking to someone else. It's never fun or easy when you and your partner fight, but do your best to compartmentalize. The less you let what's going on in your relationship affect your work, friendships and interaction with family, the better.

If the state of your relationship entirely determines your mood, then you are probably too consumed by it.

Margie Warrell | Are you short changing yourself?

If you have plans with family or your best friends, don't flake last minute to stay in with your significant other. A good relationship will definitely withstand you taking the time to honor commitments to people outside it.

short changing myself in a relationship

In reality, your partner should make you happy, not make you whole. It is us who are selling ourselves short — not them.

short changing myself in a relationship

It is not their job to do better for us than we would do for ourselves. When I believed the world was full of assclowns and Mr Unavailables, it was all I was interested in and dated.


When I believed that there were a lot of assclowns and Mr Unavailables but that there were plenty of healthy people too, lo and behold, I saw them, met them, and was interested, with the key difference being that I actually believed that I was worthy of being with a decent guy. Better to be with someone who was going to leave anyway — I was kinda prepared for it!

It felt like a lot and that I was working for the relationship — I was running on the spot.

Don't Shortchange Yourself: Don't Waste Your Time

It suited me to think I was unlovable — It was like giving myself license to be resigned to dating assclowns. That fear of being abandoned, when it was realised, painful as it was it felt familiar.

Whoever they are that are causing you pain, you can do better. Have you considered other options other than the one where you stay, for example, with an assclown or Mr Unavailable?